Who Are We to Decide?
As long as there has been language,
there have been words to bring others down. As part of the different activist movements
people have begun “reclaiming” the words that have been used against and
finding empowerment in using them to describe themselves. This is a concept
that I am not sure I completely agree with.
For instance, the word queer was and still is used by a
number of people as a negative term referring to people who do not identify, or
seem to not identify as heterosexual. I personally have never had this term
used against me but have a lot of close friends who have issues with the word
because of past experiences. Things like reclaiming words get sticky because
there is no real line distinguishing that words can be reclaimed and which ones
should just stay offensive and never be said. For instance “the N word” is
never going to be acceptable to say out loud, but the word “fag” which was used
against gay men, is still vocalized all the time.
Who
are we in this generation to decide that words like queer can be empowering? I
think it is insulting to those who came before us to start using words that
were used to demean our communities. By using words that were created out of
hate, that may still trigger people who have had them used against them, are we
belittling the struggle of early activists, or are we creating change?
I
think it is a really slippery slope. Once you decide to reclaim a word, you
then have to decide who gets to use it. For example, my friends call me queer, or refer to my hair
as my “dyke spike”, but I get really offended hearing it come from other
people. So, why is it ok for some and not for others? Why are we still using
these words when the English language is so easy to adapt? If the idea of
activist movements is to move people’s thinking forwards, why do we keep going
back?
The above link is to a running feed of how many people have
used homophobic speech on twitter today, if words are still being thrown around
like this have we really actually reclaimed them?
I actually took a queer cinema course last semester and a good portion of the course was about the terms preferable. Often the professor had corrected people on their use of terms. He actually preferred us to use the term Queer over any other term in his course it was a seeming catch all for the members of the GLBT community but I do understand where your coming from. The problem with term like these is that they vary so much in personal meaning from person to person, some may be hurt by it and for others it is a thing of pride.There is no changing it people will always differ in their opinions. No one person decides what group gets to use a term, they may personally choose for themselves but members of groups will always differ in opinions.
ReplyDeleteWell said! I feel the same with the word bitch. When my friends call me bitch its normal and acceptable but as soon as someone out of my friend group says it to me, its automatically offensive.
ReplyDeleteI'm under the impression that a move to reclaim a word is a positive step, as it's an attempt to dis-empower the group that is using it in a negative way. On that note, I also like that you bring up the issue of an in-group trying to reclaim a word, while the out-group continues to use it in a negative fashion. And to that I would respond that it's still within the in-group's interest to push on with their efforts.
ReplyDeleteAlso trying to compare a racial slur to an anti-gay slur is quite problematic for a number of reasons; but I've never heard of a slur that wasn't acceptable to say it out loud, as that even requires the in-group to be unable to use the slur and thus be unable to reclaim it.
And as I alluded to in the previous bits, and you did in your post, the issue of "who can use the word" falls to a in-group/out-group issue in my opinion: If you're of the group that the slur is generally directed at (e.g. "Queer" as a general Gender & Sexual Diversity slur) you have the ability to reclaim it if you want. Let me stress that last bit, it's a choice for a person to reclaim a slur, they are under no requirement to do so but they have the ability to if they wish.
I particularly agree with the last paragraph of Whit's comment here, that it's a choice for someone to reclaim a word. And I'd like to add to it that, much like other systems of belief, the belief that a word should be reclaimed need not be forced on people. If one individual finds a reclaimed term offensive, it's just in good character to respect that individual's wishes and avoid using the word with and around them, and vice versa - those who are offended by the reclaimed word should respect others' choice to use it in a positive manner (provided, of course, that it's not using to directly oppress them).
DeleteI completely agree with you! Jessica's comment about friends being able to call each other 'bitches' is completely different than other people calling you a bitch. It can be an empowering to reclaim a previously offensive word, but the slippery slop you mention does exist. The link you provided really opened my eyes to how many people are saying such offensive on-line! I have heard these words in conversation (Where I quickly correct them and tell them to find another word to use) but I had no idea how often they were used! Thanks for opening my eyes to this prevalent problem, it really motivates me to correct people's vocabulary on-line!
ReplyDeleteYou bring up a really interesting topic and it is certainly one to be considered. One thing I can really relate to is the idea that some people can say certain things to me while if others did it would offend me. I feel that people just need to know there place and that is why we have that invisible line always drawn that hints when you have gone too far. It is very curious that we would even like to be called names or talked to in such a way by anyone, even if it is our friends. Also, it really bothers me when people throw offensive words around. When I call them out they look at me like 'whats the big deal??' and I can only be shocked that they truly do not get what the big deal is. In my opinion it just shows how messed up our society is...we need to make the difference between 'right and wrong' clearer apparently.
ReplyDeleteI believe in reclaiming words and identify as queer myself. I see it not only as being able to take the negative power of that word away from misogynist people but also as an inclusive term. I can identify as queer and get the message across that I am attracted to cis and trans* women, as opposed to calling myself a lesbian which may make trans* women feel excluded.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog post, as I stated in our peer writing groups. It's such a powerful and controversial issue that I think needs to be addressed. I completely agree that reclaiming a word is a slippery slope: you need to be prepared for the repercussions that come with wanting to take a word back. Who decides if a word has a negative thing or a positive connotation? It's a tough issue, but I think that you do a good job of getting the conversation going. Now, how do we make a change?
ReplyDeleteGreat topic! Langauge is crazy. Can we actually reclaim cunt? Can we reclaim queer? Should we? I agree its a slippery slope. We want to take power away from these negative words and use them against the person that abuses them. But we also do not want to relive or recreate hostile environments where these words may have originated. I like the link to twitter- that is really cool and a way to visually see how people are using homophobic language in their everyday lives, often being unaware they are doing so. Our language does need a makeover, but how do we do it?
ReplyDeleteAdding historical context to conversation surrounding words that are being reclaimed is very important, even though it can be really uncomfortable to say "I can say that, but you can't, and here's why." The twitter link was a really useful tool for "getting" how other people are using these terms.
ReplyDeleteWords are powerful and I love anything to do with them. I like how you shared your thought process when deciding whether or not certain derogatory words can or should be reclaimed. Lots of people could stand to read this as an eye-opener-hopefully as a prerequisite to a mind-opener. Thanks for an interesting discussion.
ReplyDeleteFinally someone talks about reclaiming words! Like Jessica said, my friends and I call each other bitch, like its not a big deal. However, i know if my Grandma heard this... Yikes. I think many people are scared to often say these words, such as Queer, I personally thought it was an insult. I think the lack of knowledge and knowing what is and what is not acceptable is very interesting!
ReplyDeleteI like how you put a different spin on words people use to refer to others... instead of talking about how it is harmful, you looked for the WHY and how we can change this, if we even can. Thank you for showing how powerful words can be, and how much a problem negative speech is.
ReplyDeleteWords can be very hurtful more then some hitting or punching you. I think it is by time we think about the words that comes out of our mouths and how that can affect and hurt other peoples feels. WELL SAID!
ReplyDelete